I began this site over a year ago after I left my corporate job in New York and began traveling the globe on a life-changing journey. 98,000 miles later I arrived back in the United States four days before Thanksgiving. After the holiday, my plan was to finish publishing my first book and launch a new travel company. However, ten days later, I found myself sitting in the Emergency Room with my mother and her husband, Mike, at a regional medical center near my mother’s home listening to the doctor telling us they found a mass in my mother’s brain. After a biopsy a week later, we learned it wasn’t good. My mom was diagnosed with very aggressive form of brain cancer.
It would have been logical to name this website “WhereIsCory” since I was traveling to a new destination around the globe quite frequently. And most of my articles on this website discuss my experiences along the past year of my journey. However, “ThereIsCory” was purposefully chosen because “there” can be any state of being. Physical, emotional, spiritual, etc. “Where is Cory?” … “There he is”. And now given this new journey that I am embarking on with my mother, one that most likely won’t involve that much travel, writing about “there I am” will fit nicely on this site. My life has changed forever but I feel one of the best things I can do is to write.
FINALLY, TREATMENT DAY
The sun began to rise illuminating the bare trees on the horizon. The reflection of trees and the houses across the lake painted the frozen waters below. As minutes passed, the colors slowly shifted to brighter shades from the dawn. The nearly full moon was beginning to sink down below the earth to take a rest from lighting up the night sky.
I took a step out into the patio that was covered in a thin layer of frost that formed over the night. The crisp cold air entered my lungs as I took in a deep breath looking out across the lake and taking a quick break to enjoy the stunning view. Once I closed the patio door behind me, not a sound could be heard over the sloping lawn and out to the lake.
The daily routine was flowing nicely. Mike woke up with my mom and fixed her an early breakfast. Two eggs over easy with a bowl of oatmeal sprinkled with organic wildflower honey and cinnamon. My mom took her morning steroid and anti-seizure medication on schedule.
My mother has been a planner her entire life. She always wrote appointments down on her calendar. Birthdays. Anniversaries. School functions. And even though she consistently worried about potentially missing an important event or date, she always came through right as planned.
The largest portion of the tumor has begun pressing against the speech function of her brain on the left frontal lobe. How can someone who has been on top of everything her entire life now not understand how to communicate?
We have learned the hard way by sharing upcoming plans and appointments with her. Since her short term memory has been impacted, she is unable to remember things we have recently planned or communicated to her. She becomes confused about dates and upcoming plans.
Even though it is hard to do, we have learned it is best to not share any upcoming plans or events. Instead we focus on what is happening at the present moment. Which is all we really have anyway.
Mike helped her through the process of getting ready. Showering. Getting dressed. Makeup. And then we put on her coat and head out the door. We hadn’t told my mother where we were going but she willingly came along.
On the twenty minute drive, I made phone calls to set up some upcoming appointments. My second cousin works at a medical facility in Columbus and put me in contact with a doctor who ranks third in the country with the condition that my mother has. I am hesitant to go for a third opinion and hear the same thing after visiting the Cleveland Clinic, one of the highly regarded brain cancer centers in the world, last week for a second opinion. The doctor and surgeon told us that surgery didn’t make sense for my mother’s situation and to stick with the radiation and chemotherapy that the Parkview Medical Center in Fort Wayne, Indiana, originally suggested. Surgery would delay treating the entire tumor where operating would only reduce a portion of it. My mom needed treatment as soon as possible.
We sat down in the quiet radiation treatment waiting area at the Regional Cancer Care Center in Angola at 9am. My moms face began to curl up and her eyes shut hard. Tears formed in her eyes as she sensed she was beginning her treatment. My mother’s memory is all there and even though she couldn’t tell us, she knew this would be a long road ahead.
Mike and I held her hands on each side. “You are so strong,” we whispered into her ears. Her lips pushed hard together as she nodded her head knowing she would fight. I rubbed her arm and her back to console her.
The nurse came for mom right on time for her first radiation session. Mike and I began to game plan about an entire new diet and exercise regimen that will be part of our holistic treatment approach. We are going to do everything we can to keep my mom with us as long as it makes sense to do so.
About fifteen minutes later, I could hear the radiation nurses’ voices getting closer to the waiting room. With a nurse on each side, the two women slowly escorted my mother back to the waiting room. I sensed that something had gone wrong.
“The machine broke down in the middle of her treatment,” one of the nurses shared with a concerned look on her face. ”Just wait here a little while until we can fix it”.
An exhausted look had consumed my mother’s face. We sat her down and she began to weep. I wasn’t sure if she was in pain or just frustrated. I wish she could tell me what she was thinking. Mike and I gently placed our hands on her. I encouraged her to breath deeply and let out the frustration.
After several minutes of deep breathing and calming my mother’s body down, the nurse came back to tell us that the technician wouldn’t be in until later that afternoon. We would need to come back tomorrow to finish her first full treatment. The anticipation had greatly built up to begin treating my mom which made it felt like a huge let down to wait another day. But a continuous reminder that the journey of life is best taken one day at a time.
I plan to continue to write about this new life journey. It is a tough topic to write about but I feel writing will be a great emotional release for me and could help others along the way going through something similar. If you would like to receive a weekly update, feel free to enter your email and sign up below.
Cory,
Thank you for the update. I have texted Mike a few times but don’t want to pry, and I don’t hear much from Steve anymore. I’m happy to see that you will be writing updates through this journey. Please know that I pray for your mom everyday. Having just gone through cancer radiation treatments with my mom, I understand your feelings as you begin this process. I’m here if you need to chat or just need someone to listen to you. Sending all my love to Mel, Mike, you and Abby.
This is a beautiful expression of one day at a time. You are right. Now is all we have. Love can travel in the past, in the now, and into all our tomorrows; here and hereafter. Sounds like Mom raised a couple of warriors who can appropriately address each chapter. Meanwhile, holding each of you close. Covering all in prayer to the One who holds you in His wounds. Keep writing. Great to share this intimacy, because that’s the gift we all long for. That’s the stuff of Heaven. My love to all of you. Lucy
The days and processes that your mom will go through will be so much easier with you and Abby and Mike by her side. Keep her positive!! I too had a machine break down on my first day of radiation, 6 hours later I received a treatment. It’s all a blur today that I do t like to think about but I do everyday!
Looking forward to following your families journey. I’ll continue to pray for your mother and and your family 💕
Cory
Thanks for letting us be a part of your Mom’s journey! You all are so strong. Please give Mel’s a hand squeeze from me. Continued prayers. 💕💕 Penny
Cory,
This is a beautiful way for you to continue this journey. Your mom and I have been friends since we went to Defiance College together. I know that she is so thankful that you are there with her, and doing everything that you can for her. Please know that you are all in my thoughts and prayers. Let me know if there is anything that I can do. Sending my love and a big hug for you, Abby, Mike, and Melanie!
Jenny Hodapp
The big guy up above is putting you to the test. Let your faith be bigger than your fear. Hugs & prayers to all!❤️🙏
Your words were from a very loving son. I will be one of your prayer warriors. Praying that the Great Physician will give all of you strength and peace. As many , including the Fishers ( Randy’s family), have been on similar journeys . You will give your all for her.
Hugs and prayers from Roxanne Fisher
Cory, you have a very calming, optimistic, accepting manner that is surely comforting to your mom and all those close to her. Thank you for including us all in this journey. I think of you all often and pray that you continue to be strong. I pray that you will feel the comfort of God’s love and the love of all those around you.
Thank you for including me in the updates on Melanie’s progress. I am also keeping several of her
classmates updated. Hugs!
Praying for you all daily. Thank you Cory for the updates and blog on your mom’s journey. She’s so lucky to have you.
I am so sorry to hear that your mother is going through this. My mother too had an aggressive brain cancer, my thoughts and prayers are with her and you all. She was my son Tyler’s second grade teacher when we moved to Ohio from Virginia. She always such a loving person and this is so sad. I look forward to hearing how she is on this journey and I know she is thankful for you.
Cory,
Thanks for communicating with us about your mom’s journey. Thank you for being such a loving son. She always would have a glow in her eyes when we talked about you. You and Abby are her heart. I continue to pray for you all. Please let her know I love her and miss her.
Cory…
My heart breaks for all of you….reading your journey that you and Mike experienced brought back alot of very tough memories ..in very same Cancer Center..they are good…
Please know I,m praying for all of you….just keep encouraging her to keep strong..be positive..as we all know she is positive lady…..
Cory you are very strong to be able to share this….very grateful you can do this..
Sending my love n prayers to You..Mike..Abby and family…
Mel touched so many lives
God bless…
What a wonderful inspiration you are to anyone who reads your daily reflections. You are truly a gift who just keeps on giving. Your mom has always had your back and I am sure it is very satisfying knowing you are able to do the same. Thank you for keeping us informed even as our hearts are breaking.
Prayers and love to Melanie and the family.
Cory
What a journey that you have been placed on in this life. I fully believe God has taken you to these places to prepare you for where you are and where you’re going. I read these words and memories of your mom as an Elementary teacher in my school hallways run through my mind. I too have walked through the Cancer journey with my mother and want to lift you up and send prayers and encouragement to you and your entire family. Live life a little lighter hearted these days reminisce on story telling and non verbal communication cues. Thanks for sharing this and allowing us to pray and follow your Moms story!
Keeping all of you in our prayers! Thanks for the heart felt writing of your families journey. If we can do anything at all, please let me know!!
Love, Connie and Ken
Thank you , Cory, for the update. There are so many of us who are concerned. Your mother touched many hearts. I am a prayer warrior for your mom and all of your family as you face this tough journey. Make sure you take care of yourself too. Prayers and love!
Shocked to read this. Melanie, I’m praying for you they this journey! Sending hugs your way.
Thank you for your update on Mel. Mel raised two awesome kids and married an amazing guy to be her support family. Keep your faith strong and positive. Mel is a fighter! Hugs and prayers for all of you. Love you.
I will continue to pray for strength, patience, doctors wisdom, and healing. God loves you and will be holding your hand through all the his. Love ❤️ you.
We were so sorry to hear this about your mother. We’ve been praying for her and hope for healing miracles. We are the Bauer’s from a few doors down at the lake. Life can be turned upside in an instant and your whole family are in our thoughts & prayers.
Thank you Cory for your update on your mother. Melanie has been a very special member of our family and we are praying for her and you, Abby, and Mike. Love to all.
Cory,
We are so sorry to hear about your Mom. Melanie is such a beautiful, caring, giving person. My prayers are with her daily. It will be a long journey for you all. I pray that our Lord will give You, Abbey and Family, Mike and Melanie the strengh and comfort needed through this journey. Give her a hug from me.
Thank you for sharing your mom”s journey. Melanie has a very loving and caring family who will help her thru this. Many prayers are coming your way.
Cory, I dont know you but I know your mom. I too went through this with my mother. Memorize the feel of her hands and if there is anything you want to ask her or tell her do it. Your writings are from the heart and let her know I am praying for her and all of you.
Cory, thanks for sharing your Mom’s journey. Your mother knows she has 2 special, loving children. God brought you back home and wants you “there” right now. Our son’s latest scans show his cancer has remarkably regressed but Drs. will not say it’s remission. That’s ok. We hang on to every ray of hope that God send us. Prayers promised and hugs to all of you, especially for your mother. Tell her I send my love.
Cory
I’m so sorry to hear this about your beautiful Mom . I too have been thru both chemo and radiation. Keep the faith and know you all have a wonderful support system.
I would love to follow your story. She was my teacher in school..
Thsnk you Cory for this beautiful blog & the incredible love you are giving to us all who dearly love your sweet momma! Your vivid writing is so helpful to everyone & what a journey your family is on at this time. Thank you all for the love & patience you are blessing her with during this scary journey for her and giving her peace & love! I love her & your kids!
Thank you all for helping her cope on this journey! ❤ If I can do anything, please let me know. I am & have been praying for you all & the Dr’s involved to help our sweet Melanie!
Melanie