This article is part of the series “One Moment At A Time” about my family’s journey as we help my mother fight brain cancer. Feel free to subscribe below to receive periodic updates about our journey in your email inbox. Thank you for your continued support during this challenging life moment.
This article is a continuation from the previous post “Riding The Emotional Rollercoaster Minute By Minute”
BRAIN CONTROL
Finding out that your mother has a large tumor on her brain is certainly no laughing matter. In fact, it is something that shakes you to your core by seeing such a beautiful, caring human being, and someone that you love more than any other person on the planet, have to experience such a scary situation.
The past several days had been loaded with stress, sadness, fear, anxiety, exhaustion, and many more emotions. At one moment, I was calmly writing on a Sunday morning to the next moment when I was following behind an ambulance transporting my mother from one Emergency Room to another. My entire being had been jolted into an unthinkable situation. The adrenaline had instantly kicked in taking over my mind, body and soul.
Remaining in a consistent mental state of positivity in a tough situation like what I was experiencing with my mother felt like it was next to impossible. To avoid letting your mind drift into the dark, unknown abyss of fear seemed insurmountable. It’s like this strange phenomenon that occurs: that while our mind does not want anything bad to happen, all it can think about is something bad happening. Almost like we have trained our minds to think of the worst possible outcome. That way we can control our emotions and prepare our minds.
But all of these feelings are occurring because our minds want control over what is happening. We want to be able to stop the sadness. We want to solve the problem in front of us. We want to know the answers to all of the questions that arise.
MENTAL TRAINING
What if we were able to remain in a more stable mental state of positivity in times of great emotional stress? What if we can train our minds to do this? This certainly doesn’t mean we can’t feel sad or show emotion because sadness and fear are both natural human responses to what is occurring (among many others). But I guess some people aren’t taught how to do this.
I argue that training your mind is more important than training your body. While training our bodies is still important, training our minds like we do our bodies will prove more important. Our bodies will one day slow down (and sometimes break down), but for most of us, our mind will continue to be there and function mostly the way it always has.
Our mind controls our thoughts. And our thoughts can impact our emotions. And our emotions can impact our ability to maintain consistent positivity as best we can. But it also works in the reverse: our thoughts can also impact our ability to maintain a consistent negative outlook also. It all lies in what we choose to do.
CHOOSING POSITIVITY
We all have a choice. Simply put: we can choose to be positive or we can choose to be negative. I’m assuming most of you will choose positivity over negativity (I am sure there are some out there that will choose negativity), but the rest of this article is based on choosing a positive life outlook, even in the most difficult of life moments.
There are many proven methods to aid with increasing positivity in our lives. We all have heard that exercise allows our bodies to release endorphins which interact with the receptors in our brains to reduce the perception of pain. And there are many other ways to maintain a more positive life outlook like meditation, yoga, helping others, and surrounding yourself with positive people (changing your environment) to name a few.
But one of the least used ways that can help us remain positive is laughter. In fact, many studies exist about using laughter to improve overall health. Laughter has been proven to increase immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies which in turn improves your resistance to disease.
UNSTOPPABLE ECTASY
During my travels around the world, I learned that laughter groups are beginning to pop up in many different countries. In fact, during one of my yoga classes in Bali, I experienced laughter first hand in a group setting. As forty strangers were laying around me in shavasana, I was looking up at the wooden beams holding up the open air structure while my arms and legs were splayed out on each side. Beads of sweat ran down my forehead from the past forty minutes of intense vinyasa flow. As I laid motionless, I took a deep exhale as my body appreciated what I had accomplished.
The bearded instructor sat at the front of the room with his legs crossed and his upper body perfectly extended perpendicular to the floor. We all didn’t quite know what to expect as the instructor began to explain an exercise he wanted to try, but our open minds were willing to participate.
And then suddenly, a loud belly giggle began to vibrate through the air above my vulnerable body. A smile began to form on my face from the silly laugh entering into my ears. I began to hear the girl about four feet away from me begin to giggle. And as perfectly designed, I wasn’t able to silence my giggle any longer.
My diaphragm quickly pulsed and the air escaped my smiling mouth. It was pure contagion. The giggling in the room began softly and continued to build as we all began letting go of our minds holding us back. Within thirty seconds, the collective energy in the room exploded into pure unstoppable laughing ecstasy.
BELLY LAUGH MOMENT
Abby handed our mother the white styrofoam cup filled with ice and the special, unflavored laxative solution that she needed to drink. My mother took the cup from my sister and put the straw into her mouth to sip down the watery solution.
“When are we having dinner?” My mother asked looking back and forth between my sister and I. We both looked at each other trying figure out what we needed to say.
We had no choice but to tell her that she needed to get a colonoscopy the next day. And the only way to get a successful reading is to clean out her entire system. I pointed my finger over towards the plastic gallon-sized jug of solution and told her that she needed to drink all of the water in the container before she went to sleep in several hours.
My mother’s eyes rolled into the back of her head. “Oh gosh,” she blurted our with a half giggle. “I’m not drinking all of that,” she said to us in an annoyed voice. My belly began to pulse as I let out a giggle while my mother took another sip through the white straw. I looked over at Abby and saw her beautiful smile appear as her own giggle began to flow. After all of the stress and emotions we had gone through over the past 55 hours, it felt good to laugh.
My mother swallowed a mouthful of fluid. “Gosh,” she said knowing that we thought what we heard from her was humorous. She cracked a smile and began to laugh at my sister and I. The laughter was contagious. Abby and I stood on each side of our mother holding each of her hands while we shared a really good belly laugh together. Even though she had an IV hooked into her arm and was seated in a hospital bed wearing a special gown, it was heartwarming to see the smiles and hear the giggles from our mother. I looked over at my sister as she was smiling and looking down at our jovial mother. It was a special moment to see everyone living in the moment.
WORKING OUT IN THE END
Abby had to work the following day and eventually had to drive back home. After she left, It was just me and my momma! But unfortunately, I became the poop patrol. For anyone that has had a colonoscopy or had to clean out their piping for any reason knows that the aftereffects of what happens when you drink all of the laxative. Let’s just say it works well and works frequently.
I think the nurses at the nursing station were completely fine to have me help out my mother on my own. This task certainly wasn’t a reason that people chose to go into nursing. But as the evening turned into late evening, I realized that the flow wasn’t going to end any time soon.
By the time I helped my mother walk back to her bed with her IV dangling from her arm to the portable machine plugged into the wall, it was time to turn around and walk back to the bathroom. And by 11pm, I had reached a point where I had to ring nurse call button. The nurse outside of our room was sitting at her desk doing paperwork, and even though I so badly wanted to help my mother through this crappy situation, I finally remembered that the nurses job was there to physically help.
It was hard for me to leave my mother in that condition. The flow was certainly unpleasant for her but I knew it was a necessary task to perform the final test for my mom the following day. It was all part of the process. The nurse gingerly walked in asking if everything was going ok. “Oh, it’s going too well. But I need your help now. I’m exhausted and have an hour drive ahead of me. So I need you to take over for me.”
The nurse smiled knowing that I suckered myself into doing her job for the past three hours. My mother overheard me talking with the nurse as she sat on the throne. “Honey, get home safe. You need your sleep,” she said. It was hard to leave but I did need to rest. And amazingly, she knew it too.
“I love you mom. This will all work out in the end,” I said as I giggled. She giggled back knowing I was being punny. She knew there was no need for me to endure the unpleasantness with her. I popped my head into the bathroom and flashed her a silly grin. “I’ll see you in the morning Mom. Love you. Muah!”
… To Be Continued. CLICK HERE to continue.
One moment at a time.
I plan to continue to write about this new life journey. It is a tough topic to write about but I feel writing will be a great emotional release for me and could help others along the way going through something similar. If you would like to receive a weekly update, feel free to enter your email and sign up below.
